I have never known innocence, but with secrets and silence, I am well acquainted.
My earliest memories are of abuse and shame. Moments that stole pieces of my childhood and planted lies I carried into my adult years: that my boundaries didn’t matter and silence was safer than being seen. These experiences shaped how I saw myself and the world around me. They distorted my view of love, intimacy, trust, and even God.

I longed to connect. To be accepted. To be chosen. But I was not capable of maintaining healthy relationships. The pain I carried showed up in several toxic relationships, cycles of self-sabotage, isolation, insecurity, shame and fear. Each bad relationship and poor decision reinforce the lies I had been hearing for as long as I can remember, “you are not worth it.” I attempted to fill the void with anything that would numb or even ease the pain. Attention from men, alcohol abuse, sex, parties, drug use, busyness, and relationships that drained me. Nothing ever satisfied. The longing only grew bigger. The pit of sin I was trapped in only grew deeper.

For many years, I lived disconnected from my body and my worth. Sex became less about intimacy and more about validation, control, and momentary relief from the pain I didn’t know how to face. I didn’t honor my body or my voice. What looked like freedom on the outside was actually bondage. I carried the weight of my decisions quietly, convinced that my history permanently disqualified me from purity, wholeness, and being used by God in meaningful ways. I now have three children from three different relationships. Apart from surrendering my life to Jesus, my children are the greatest thing I have ever done. I would never change having them. Still, there was guilt and shame intertwined with joy. The beauty of their lives existed alongside the brokenness of my choices.

My initial encounter with Jesus began my awareness of my journey of redemption, that over time, changed everything. Even now, decades later, continues to change everything. Jesus did not simply fix what was broken in my soul; He made me new.

Through His Word and by His Spirit, I began to understand the purity available to me in Jesus Christ is not about untouched perfection but is through reconciliation. According to Colossians 1:21-22 And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.

As I spend time in His presence and allow His truth to confront lies, the past that once held me bound by shame and regret now equips me to speak words that heal.

I went from not understanding my value as a woman to knowing purity, Godly purity. A purity that can’t be stolen, a purity only Jesus can give. Purity that comes from grace, forgiveness, and transformation.

If you have ever felt like your story disqualified you from hope and purpose, you’re in the right place.
Here, we will walk through healing together, learning to see ourselves as God sees us forgiven, redeemed and unapologetically free.

Welcome to my journey.
Welcome to redemption.
Welcome to Unapologetic by Stacy Irene.